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Anger Management

funny movie but really more about getting angry than controlling it

Yesterday I self enrolled into a 52-week program for anger management and domestic violence.  At first I was repelled by the thought of being in such a program.  “I’m not an angry person!” “I’m not a woman beater!” These and other thoughts came to mind and in many ways, they are true statements.  What is also true is that I’ve let anger overcome me on a number of occasions throughout my lifetime.  It couldn’t hurt to give the program a try and it came highly recommended from a friend.  I jumped in with both feet.  After the intake process and the first session, I am glad to now be a part of a program where men meet weekly to discuss their feelings.

In writing about the program and its attendees, I will change names in order to preserve privacy.

Details about the program:

  • A group of 10 – 12 men meet once a week for 2 hours to have an open discussion led my a certified therapist.
  • Most are self enrolled, some are court ordered to attend.
  • Many complete and exit the program after 52 weeks, others voluntarily choose to stay much longer.
  • Challenging questions are asked and disagreements happen during sessions.
  • All costs are paid by each person, no insurance accepted.  $60/session
  • Men get together to talk about their feelings!

Insights from week 1:

  • You can lose everything when you lose control.  Sam told me he once made $300,000 a year as a successful business man.  Now he’s getting $8/hr.  He was in a bad relationship in which violence played a major part.  Jerry lost his wife of 19 years and 2 daughters when he lost control one night and took violent actions against his teenage daughter.  I reflected on this.  My first major incident led me to the emergency room.  This latest one, to court.  How bad do I want it to get?
  • Choosing who to get into a romantic relationship with and how you choose to conduct yourself in the relationship are important decisions.  As I was sitting in court today, so many cases involving violence, child custody, spousal support, child support, and divorce all came to be heard.  There was much suffering in the room and you can feel the tension in the air.